I haven't posted in a while, as my mom decided to point out this week (Hi Mom!). I guess I got sidetracked during final exams and projects. Plus I really couldn't think of anything to say. Graduation is nearing and I'm completely terrified.
I've always been responsible. I've always had a job since I was 14 until July 2009 when I finally decided to leave the job I had for three years. It was time to leave, mainly due to the stress that it caused me. I loved serving tables, learning about beer, and the way the restaurant worked. What I didn't enjoy was the high school drama and idiots who were around. Plus, since I was dating a coworker (still am, just neither of us work there anymore), it was really hard to have a relationship there. I was always mad at him, since I had trouble separating work and real life.
Now that I've quit, I feel less stressed, but also less useful. My mom and I made a deal that I would not work for the fall semester, in order to get myself back together. Then, when spring semester rolled around and I decided to take 17 hours, working was once again out of the question. After May (and two May classes), I will be a graduate of UGA and then....what? I have to find a job, an apartment, take over my car payment, pay taxes, pay all the dog stuff ($50 FOR DOG FOOD?!?!?), pay all the bills, and probably tons of other stuff. I have paid many of these things before, but never at the same time. I hate using my credit card (I know, I'm weird) and.....whew. It's just hard to digest.
I know it's time to become a full fledged adult. I know that I don't HAVE to find an apartment right away and that I can move home, but I feel bad taking my two dogs home because it isn't my parents responsibility to take care of them. I know that I will let them whenever I feel like going to see Rich and whatever else.
My mom and I made a deal that she wouldn't keep mentioning how excited she was that she wasn't going to have to pay stuff come August as long as I stopped freaking out about money. I agreed to this. Crap. Now what? I'm going to keep my frustrations inside, self-combust, and cry profusely. No...I won't. I'll be responsible, deal with it like an adult, and handle things as they come.
But for now.
I'm crawling into bed, with my two dogs, down comforter, flannel sheets....because it's the only place I feel secure in right now.
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Try to not think too much about "life after college." I know it is SO hard, but you will never get this time back, so enjoy it. The real world isn't going anywhere, trust me! Hope you are having a good morning, I left you a little surprise on my blog today!
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